To Try Again and Start Anew
by Evide
Summary: Junpei was having a little bit of trouble getting over his first crush, the beautiful goddess Izumi. It was hard to get her out of his mind, so a little distraction was very welcome... [fluff, odd pair]


Major thanks to my best friend D-kun for help with the title and also thanks to Grace-chan who helped me with rewriting this.

**To Try Again and Start Anew**

There was a beautiful, calming layer of thick snow outside that February day, and though it wasn't enough to be school-cancelling or enough to confine most people to the safety of their warm houses, it was just enough for everyone to enjoy. Sports were going on outside and snowmen were being built, fires being kindled and hot chocolate bringing warmth. It was a perfect day to spend with others, though it just so happened that Junpei was alone that early afternoon.

The fifteen-year-old was hanging out at the coffee shop, trying not to think about the vacancy of the seat across from him, here to enjoy a nice warming cup of hot chocolate. At least, that's what he told himself as he sat down in the corner of the cafe and away from all those loving couples sitting together by the shop's fire. It would have been nice to see Izumi sitting across from him, smiling at him, but he knew it was a lost cause. That was why he was here to just get over his crush...

Izumi wasn't all that great, Junpei decided to try and tell himself. Blond hair was nice, a golden warming color that was like a million marrigolds all in a field and... no. No, blond hair was nice, but what about dark hair? Sure, calm soothing, smooth dark hair like black roses. Junpei actually thought he liked the sound of that, a black rose, but then again, maybe he was just trying to trick himself?

Izumi had wonderful... she had dull blue-green eyes that sparkled with her bright personality and... no. Bright green eyes were nice, but what about... dark blue eyes, ones that looked into you, ones that reflected the dark night sky with stars in them? Where was Junpei going to find someone with black rose hair and deep night blue eyes with stars in them? The brunette boy sighed into his hot drink, feeling lovesick and melancholy. He just had to let her go. Besides, she was going out with Katsuharu now, as weird as that was.

"Augh, why would Izumi-chan choose Kastuharu over a guy like me?" Junpei muttered to himself, running his hands through his brown hair that was slightly wet from the snow that had settled on it earlier.

"I dunno, but I don't think that's going to work out very well." The brunette suddenly noticed someone familiar sitting down across from him, someone with dark shaggy hair and soft blue eyes...

"Wha, Kouichi?" Junpei mumbled in surprise, sitting up straight to meet his friend's eye-level. Kouichi nodded at him lightly, smiling in amusement to which Junpei found himself slowly smiling back to. This was weird. This was really weird. Kouichi fit his description of the opposite of Izumi, and it was kinda rattling.

"So, um, what's up?" Kouichi inquired after a moment of awkward silence, sipping quietly at a cup of steamy hot chocolate. Junpei mentally pinched himself out of his daze, shaking his head lightly. He was being silly, he was just lovesick, and this was just weird.

"Oh, um, nothin' much. Just getting away from the cold, y'know." He said quickly, trying to distract himself by gazing into his own cup of hot chocolate, sitting untouched beneath him. He felt a bit awkward at the moment, to tell the truth, and he stayed unusually quiet for a minute.

"Uhm... is... something the matter?" Kouichi asked in concern, his worried voice filling Junpei's ears like hot chocolate in his mouth. Woah, that was a weird analogy...

"Ah, it's nothing!" Junpei muttered with a lopsided smile, putting a hand behind his head and forcing a laugh, but it only made Kouichi frown and his soft eyebrows shift upwards in a look of worry.

"Um, are you sure...?" The elder boy noticed that it seemed Kouichi really wanted to help him, or maybe it was just his overacting imagination at the moment. But could it really be he was just imagining that adorably worried pout on Kouichi's lips?

"W-well..." Junpei hurried for an excuse, anything to get Kouichi's cute pout off of his face so he didn't have to stare at it. "Uhm, it's just... I'm kinda lovesick s'all. The Izumi and Katsuharu thing, I mean." That's right, he was supposed to be lovesick over Izumi. How was it that just looking at Kouichi made him forget all that in seconds? It felt... kinda nice, Junpei decided.

The dark-haired boy nodded to Junpei, leaning back a bit his seat which made his worn, comfortably warm-looking red sweatshirt ride up a bit to slightly expose the pale skin underneath. "I'm sorry, Junpei, that it never worked out between you and Izumi. But maybe she just isn't the one for you." He offered quietly, gazing down at the table between him and his friend. Junpei sat there for a moment as if in a daze, before he made an attempt at answering.

"Uh... yeah." It came out lamely, and Junpei watched as Kouichi's shoulders slouched a little as if he were suddenly guilty that his advise hadn't done anything. Maybe he was guilty, but he really shouldn't have been...

Junpei tried to think of something to say to the silence between them, feeling a bit awkward and wrong-footed. He almost felt guilty himself that he'd made Kouichi feel bad, and it was all just confusing him greatly. He just wished they could be happy while together, to just enjoy the time they spent here.

"So hey, what about you?" At Kouichi's adorably confused look, head titled and eyes widening just slightly, Junpei continued, "You got your eyes on someone special?" As soon as the question left him, he was almost afraid of the answer. Why was that anyway?

"O-oh... no, um... not really." Kouichi said uncomfortably, shifting in his seat as he subtly pulled his arms close into himself. Junpei felt himself sighing in a sense of relief, but he caught himself. What was he doing? This was really weird... why did he felt relived Kouichi didn't like anyone? Was it because... he liked Kouichi? No, no, he was supposed to like Izumi. Besides, Kouichi was a boy. He wasn't gay... was he? Did he really like Kouichi?

"Heh," Junpei shook his head, trying to clear it, "I guess Kouji gets all the girls and none are left for you, eh? Sad." He let the joke come out easily and Kouichi nodded at him, giggling softly. Junpei smiled himself as he realized he really liked hearing Kouichi's laugh. Izumi had never really laughed as openly or as softly at him, rather than to tease him really. And her hearty laughter just didn't seem as melodious as Kouichi's seemed to be. He hadn't noticed this about Kouichi before, but why? Was it just because Kouichi was laughing because of him that he finally realized how nice it seemed?

"Heh, I guess you could say that." Kouichi's whispered answer got Junpei's head out of the clouds to listen to him. A hand hovered over Kouichi's smiling lips, slightly pink from being outside just a while ago, accompanying his flushed cheeks all to compliment those dark blue eyes of his.

"Hmm, they really are missing out on a really great guy." Junpei muttered, leaning onto the table in a contemplating manner. Kouichi looked down at him with a sort of bewildered, kinda curiously sweet look, head titled to the side in a just adorable posture. Did Kouichi always used to do that when he was confused or curious? Junpei couldn't remember if he'd ever noticed it before... but it was cute.

"Me?" Kouichi hesitated, trying to hide a suddenly embarrassed blush behind blue bangs as he turned his head away from his friend, shaking his head lightly in disagreement.

Junpei lifted his head back up, leaning against the table and nodding, "Yeah you! Sure!" The elder boy prompted encouragingly, subtly shifting over in his seat to get a better look at his friend's angelic and almost feminine face. "I-I mean, anyone is sure to fall for those dazzling blue eyes. And you're really sweet and just..." Junpei suddenly realized what he was saying and promptly shut his mouth, now a rosy coat of blush painted on both boy's faces.

Kouichi slowly turned his gaze to his friend, and their eyes met for a while, studying eachother, before Kouichi broke the soft silence. "...and I'm what...?" He prodded quietly, leaning forward in a somewhat curiously hesitant manner, his posture just radiating a subtle cuteness about him.

Junpei felt his heart skip a beat, having never known how sweet Kouichi's subtle beauty could be. He always thought he'd been head-over-heels for Izumi, his golden-haired goddess, but she never gave him this kind of fluttery feeling his chest, never like this. He would have thought himself in love with Izumi all this time maybe... but here, now, watching Kouichi's softness and hesitance before him, he decided he really really liked it. Much more than anything Izumi had to offer. So he leaned forward just a little more and pressed his lips against Kouichi's own soft ones.

And Junpei decided that it was really... really nice.

**The End**

Title is from Kouichi's "dub theme song" Darkness In My Heart and comes to mean Junpei moving on from Izumi and trying something different. Major thanks to D-kun for the idea for that.

I've just been having this major itch to write a JunKouichi fic, and the first few attempts were fiascoes. I would write more, but it's a pretty hard couple to get right, and I'm not at all sure I did okay on this one anyway (I feel it's a bit cliche...). I think I'll just stick to Koukou one-shots and maybe throw in some JunKouichi friendship when it's right for it. Sound good? Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!


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